70-year-old
George went for his annual physical. All of his tests
came back
with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything
looks great
physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are
you at peace
with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with
your God?"
George replied,
"God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight,
so he's fixed
it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go
to the bathroom
(poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!)
the light
goes off when I'm done."
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"
A little later
in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he
said, "George
is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to
call because
I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that
he gets up
during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the
bathroom,
and then (poof!) the light goes off?"
Thelma exclaimed,
"That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator
again!"
Bar Joke
A man comes
to a bar and yells:
"QUICK!!!! Give
me a glass of beer!!! Before IT gets started!!!"
A bartender goes:
"What started?!
What are you talking about?!"
"No questions.
Just give me the beer, faster!!!"
He drinks the beer
and screams again:
"One more, hurry
up!!! Before it gets started!!!"
"What started?!"
"Nevermind!!! Give
me my beer!!!"
He drinks the second
glass and continues:
"Third glass!!!
Faster!!! before it gets started!!! Do it!!!"
Finally, the bartender
asks:"Hey, pal. Are you gonna pay?!"
And the man goes:
"Damn,! It's
started..."